Illustration by McClain Moore for AJN.

Imagination vs. reality.

Who hasn’t thought about it from time to time, the sudden grim diagnosis, the force of the realization that all that time you thought you had to live, love, learn, explore, and change may really be finite after all? Who hasn’t wondered what you would do with the remaining time if that happened—and by corollary, what you should be doing differently now?

But that’s all in the mind and imagination. The real clarifying shock of such an experience remains out of reach for most of us—until it happens.

Collecting experiences ‘like Mario connecting coins.’

This month’s Reflections essay, “The Last One,” is by Fran Wiedenhoeft, a former nurse anesthetist in the military. In it, she describes her own reaction after she found herself, at a relatively young age, facing just such a diagnosis.

In the two weeks before the surgery . . . I threw myself with frantic determination into collecting lasts: last long run . . . , last trip to the zoo, last potato peeled, last kiss, last caress. . . . Rather than enjoying each precious moment and every last experience, I was rushing through each one so that I could go on to collect the next, like Mario collecting coins in the video game.

An unexpected realization.

Fortunately, the author lived to tell the story. And in the process she learned something unexpected. This lovely short essay suggests that the ubiquitous advice to ‘seize the day’ or ‘live in the moment’ can easily become just another consumerist mantra. Maybe really living our lives isn’t necessarily about doing anything new or different (though it certainly can be). Maybe, at the most basic level, it’s a matter of paying closer attention.

So steal five minutes to stop and read this nurse’s story. The article is free, and comments are always welcome.