1. Nurses Don’t Have to Make This Stuff Up

Photo by Kah Lok Leong on Unsplash

During a fire drill the nurse, Kathryn, was closing doors to patients’ rooms. An 86-year-old patient was talking on the phone to her daughter when Kathryn reached her room. As Kathryn started to shut the patient’s door, the woman asked, “What’s that ringing noise?”

“Don’t worry,” Kathryn said. “We’re just having a little fire drill.”

As she was leaving, Kathryn heard the woman tell her daughter, “No, everything’s just fine, dear. The hospital’s on fire but a nice little nurse just came to lock me in my room.”

Having worked as a nurse, as well as having interviewed hundreds of nurses over the years, I can attest that you don’t have to make this stuff up. Yet nurses from coast to coast right now are telling me, “There’s nothing funny happening in my life.”

Having studied the brain and humor for decades, I can tell you that if that is your belief, that will also be your reality. Telling yourself there’s nothing funny around you will wire your reticular activating system to show you just that—nothing funny.

Even during times of chaos—overwhelming patient census, lack of resources, staffing shortages—humorous material is abundant. But so often we’re caught up in “what’s next” or still thinking about “what happened” rather than being in the present.

The actual experience of humor is in the present. Are you tuned into it? Do you listen for the humor that is around you right now in this crazy, absurd, out-of-balance world? What you discover may surprise you, and it will give your brain a much-needed respite.

What humor have you recently seen or overheard that others may have missed?

2. Laughing With or Laughing At? The Power of Humor to Build Up or Tear Down

“My pain may be the source for somebody’s laugh. But my laugh must never be the source for somebody’s pain.” -Charlie Chaplin

It was the first week of the first semester of nursing school. My fellow nursing students and I had just finished lunch in our dorm’s cafeteria, and we were on our way to class, but first—a quick stop by the soft-serve ice cream machine. We stood in line and watched a young man with cerebral palsy awkwardly place his cone under the spout, press the pedal with his foot, and dump chocolate ice cream all over his arm. I’m ashamed to admit it now, but instead of making an effort to help him, a few of us actually laughed at his efforts as we watched, before we decided to skip the ice cream and head to class. In my ignorance, I’d assumed that since the young man had a physical disability, he also had a cognitive disability and wouldn’t realize we were laughing at him.

Fast-forward a few weeks—I attended a school-sponsored social event. I didn’t see anyone I knew, so I was making small talk with some other new students when the “ice cream man” showed up and made his way over to our group. He began talking about his classes and his aspirations. He was so articulate and funny. My face grew hot with shame as I realized that he had to have known that day in the cafeteria that we were laughing at him.

To this day I don’t know if he recognized me, but I wish I’d had the guts to apologize to him. Instead, embarrassed, I made excuses and headed back to the dorm, vowing never to hurt anyone with my laughter again.

Now I make my living by showing people how to find humor amidst their pain. It’s my sincere belief that nurses who can’t laugh—leave. I encourage them to laugh at the good, the bad, and the ugly in health care. But whether it’s a patient, a doctor, a family member, or a colleague, may our laughter never be at someone else’s expense.

Have you ever laughed at someone only later to regret it? Have you ever been the recipient of painful laughter? What did you take away from the experience?

Karyn Buxman, MSN, DAIS, CHP, CSP, CPAE, is a nurse and a speaker, author, and consultant with a focus on studying the importance of humor in nursing. “Her mission is to transform lives through the power of humor and laughter.”