by dave shafer/via flickr

October 15 is National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, a day of remembrance for those who have suffered a miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant loss. Ronald Reagan proclaimed October a month for recognizing this kind of loss in 1998, and a resolution to declare October 15 a day of remembrance was passed by the United States House of Representatives on September 28, 2006, following an initiative by three mothers who had suffered losses.

The day serves to promote greater awareness, remembrance, and support of the estimated one in four individuals and families whose lives are altered by the death of their children during pregnancy, at birth, and in infancy.

‘A lonely grief.’

In a way, I wish I didn’t know this. I myself suffered an unexpected, second-trimester loss two years ago. The grief, excruciating in the days and months that followed, has subsided, but never fully disappears. It is a “lonely” grief. I found that miscarriage and infant loss is a topic a lot of people tend to shy away from—they don’t always know what to say or sometimes say something unintentionally hurtful (it was God’s will, you can go on to have more children).

This can be very isolating. Only through talking […]