The Pitfalls of Being the ‘Nice’ Patient: A Nurse’s Perspective

Image Brent Keane/via Pexels

I have often heard health care professionals in various environments say, “If you’re nice to the nurses and doctors who take care of you, you’ll get better care.” As a bedside nurse myself, I understand the sentiment. No busy health care worker loves being met with antagonism or pressing demands that don’t strike us as critically urgent.

But when my husband and I both became patients with serious illnesses last year, we learned the clinical pitfalls of being the nice patients. I am left wondering how patients should be expected or permitted to advocate for their own care without worrying that they will be frowned upon or brushed off because they’re perceived as “difficult.”

First cautionary tale.

In early 2022, I discovered a small lump under my right breast that I initially wrote off as a cyst. Surely, I told myself, as a woman in her mid-40s with no risk factors for breast cancer, this had to be benign. A screening mammogram in May 2022 gave me an all-clear, and I went on my way.

But by November, I knew the lump had grown. I reached out to my PCP to ask for a diagnostic mammogram, and he emailed back a casual reassurance. “I know […]

2024-02-07T16:57:09-05:00February 6th, 2024|Nursing, nursing stories, patient experience, Patients|15 Comments
Read More

The Face of Burnout in Nursing: My Personal Story and Lessons Learned

Woman looking at ocean at sunset Photo by Artem Kovalev on Unsplash

Two-and-a-half years ago, I experienced severe burnout in my role as a night shift charge nurse in a cardiovascular ICU. This blog post shares my personal story, highlighting the common ingredients of burnout and the challenges I faced. Through this experience, I learned valuable lessons that can benefit both nurses and the health care industry as a whole.

Where it All Began

Transitioning from a clinical nurse educator to a night shift charge nurse in a new cardiovascular ICU was an exciting opportunity for me. However, it soon became overwhelming due to various factors. These included a surgeon I didn’t see eye-to-eye with, moral and ethical dilemmas in patient care, staffing challenges, and a hostile work environment created by lateral violence from coworkers.

Strained to the Breaking Point

As my anxiety grew, I struggled to meet expectations each night. While prioritizing patient care and my night shift team, I feared for our patients’ well-being. Frequently, we were overloaded with acute post-cardiothoracic surgery patients. Despite my efforts to manage admissions responsibly, I faced constant pressure. Doubts crept in, and I lost trust in myself and my ability to provide safe care.

The […]

2023-07-13T11:32:42-04:00July 13th, 2023|career, Nursing, nursing career, nursing stories, patient safety|3 Comments
Read More

Just One Braid: The Power of Small Gestures to Restore Patient Dignity

Have you ever found yourself walking around your unit, overwhelmed by the prospect of managing your ever-growing workload? It sometimes feels like a never-ending cycle of assessments, medications, admissions, and discharges. I believe I’m not the only nurse who has experienced this frustration.

It is difficult to admit that, when COVID-19 entered our hospital doors, these thoughts consumed me. We witnessed the first casualties—not just of lives, but also of hope and intimacy—as we struggled to provide care and overcome our own anxieties amidst a scarcity of personal protective equipment (PPE).

Over time, we all learned a great deal about adapting to and managing a pandemic, and I have become more aware of my role within our flawed health care system. Focusing on my own fears and needs was valuable, of course, but these years opened my eyes to the injustices patients face. A significant proportion of the lives lost from COVID-19 due to ill-prepared infrastructure were from vulnerable communities. These realities transformed my perception of these injustices from distant awareness to concrete urgency.

Braiding a patient’s hair, restoring a sense of self.

The question of injustice brings to mind a recent encounter with a patient that deeply impacted me. This particular patient […]

2023-05-25T12:20:32-04:00May 25th, 2023|Nursing, nursing stories, patient experience|1 Comment
Read More

Honoring Notable Black Nurses of History

USS Red Rover hospital ship. National Library of Medicine.

Nurses Week is scheduled to correspond with the birth of Florence Nightingale (1820-1910).  We do this to honor her work in professionalizing and modernizing nursing. Her contribution to our profession is considerable, and it is right that we pay respect to her. But it is equally right that we put Nurse Nightingale in context so that Nurses Week can celebrate all nurses, and not just the often well-off white women on which most nursing history focuses. This four-part blog series during the month of May will honor a handful of women of color who accomplished remarkable things during Florence Nightingale’s lifetime.

Ann Bradford Stokes

Ann Bradford Stokes (1830-1903) was born into slavery on a Tennessee plantation. In 1863, she escaped and was taken aboard a Union hospital ship. She eventually became one of the first women to be listed as active duty personnel, and the one of the first Black women to serve as a nurse in the navy. Along with five other Black women who had escaped slavery (Alice Kennedy, Sarah Kinno, Ellen Campbell, Dennis Downs, and Betsy Young Fowler), she cared […]

2023-05-05T11:31:21-04:00May 1st, 2023|Black nurses, Nursing, nursing stories|0 Comments
Read More

Tuning in to Humor in Nursing

1. Nurses Don’t Have to Make This Stuff Up

Photo by Kah Lok Leong on Unsplash

During a fire drill the nurse, Kathryn, was closing doors to patients’ rooms. An 86-year-old patient was talking on the phone to her daughter when Kathryn reached her room. As Kathryn started to shut the patient’s door, the woman asked, “What’s that ringing noise?”

“Don’t worry,” Kathryn said. “We’re just having a little fire drill.”

As she was leaving, Kathryn heard the woman tell her daughter, “No, everything’s just fine, dear. The hospital’s on fire but a nice little nurse just came to lock me in my room.”

Having worked as a nurse, as well as having interviewed hundreds of nurses over the years, I can attest that you don’t have to make this stuff up. Yet nurses from coast to coast right now are telling me, “There’s nothing funny happening in my life.”

Having studied the brain and humor for decades, I can tell you that if that is your belief, that will also be your reality. Telling yourself there’s nothing funny around you will wire your reticular activating system to show you just that—nothing funny.

Even during times of chaos—overwhelming patient census, lack of resources, staffing […]

2023-03-07T13:20:16-05:00March 7th, 2023|Nursing, nursing perspective, nursing stories|2 Comments
Read More

Comment ground rules

1. Please be respectful.
2. We moderate all comments.

Content disclaimer

Views expressed on the blog are solely those of the authors or persons quoted. They do not necessarily reflect AJN’s views or those of Wolters Kluwer Health/Lippincott Williams and Wilkins.
Go to Top