Early ideals, current reality.

I recently co-facilitated a breakout session at a national nursing conference in which we had the participants reflect upon life experiences that sparked their initial desire to go into nursing.

Some knew from a very early age that they were drawn to providing care for others. Others, like myself, were second-career nurses who had spent time in other professions before making our way into nursing.

We spent time talking about our early idealism about the profession and the various experiences or issues that have challenged our ideals over time. I was struck by the deep and broad range of emotions in the room: pride, frustration, hope, discouragement, cynicism, and longing.

‘An almost palpable ache.’

It is the longing that stood out to me the most.

The nurses I met in that room, and nurses I meet everywhere, certainly express longing for better staffing, improved systems that facilitate smoother workflow, and a supportive work environment. But these are all longings that tie into one deeper longing, which is a longing for enduring meaning in our day-to-day work—as hard as some days may be—and a broader sense of hope about our profession in the midst of 21st century politics and health care.

I heard hints of cynicism, as nurses spoke of feeling their humanity overtaken by their workload and tasks, feeling morally compromised by an increase in ethically challenging situations, and feeling detached because of grievous cases that they never had opportunities to really process.

I heard nurses speak of their struggles to be the nurse they once thought they would and could be, and the room filled with an almost palpable ache as one nurse after another articulated his or her struggles, while the rest of the room nodded in agreement.

What endures after Nurses Week has come and gone.

Nurses appreciate the intent behind gifts and celebratory activities from our places of employment during Nurses Week. But it is the on-the-ground ability to connect our own sense of meaning behind nursing with what we actually do when we come to work that sustains our own inner sense of celebration about our profession, long after Nurses Week has come and gone.

We want to advocate for our patients’ rights, not violate them. We want to connect, and not just function. We want to heal, even at our patients’ end of life, and not harm. This longing to find enduring reasons to love and celebrate our profession runs up against formidable challenges in 21st century health care, but it runs true and deep even still.