Illustration by Janet Hamlin for AJN.

In our January Reflections column (free until March 1), “Just One More,” a nurse shares her memory of a family facing one of the most painful experiences imaginable—the death of a child.

In a situation like this, there is so little that can be done, and the usual gestures of expressing condolences or giving a pat on the hand feel inadequate and hollow.   

She writes:

“I knew that no words could lessen the unexpected heartbreak . . . But still, I wished there was something I could say, or do, that might make a small difference.”

Small gestures, lasting effects.

Most nurses can relate to such a situation. You may not be able to do anything to change a patient’s circumstances, and all you have left in your arsenal of care is a small gesture of kindness.

Yet that gesture can have a huge impact. For us, it’s a tiny blip in our nursing career, just a few extra moments with our patient. But to the recipient, this care can bring peace and prevent years of turmoil as they reflect on their painful experience. 

Here, the nurse’s sensitivity and ability to read the room provided an anguished mother and father the chance to preserve a precious fleeting moment and prevent a lifetime of regret. This story is a great reminder of how the acts that take just a few minutes can be as profound as work done on a 12-hour shift.

But we need to be open and available to those moments, so that they don’t pass by unnoticed.  

Christine Moffa, PhD, APRN, PMHNP-BC, senior clinical editor, American Journal of Nursing