Watching a Friend Fade Away: A Nurse’s Account of the Progress of Dementia

Illustration by Eric Collins, ecol-art.com. All rights reserved. Illustration by Eric Collins, ecol-art.com. All rights reserved.

By Jacob Molyneux, senior editor

Alzheimer’s disease and dementia have been in the news. There have been major movies about what’s it’s like to suffer the gradual loss of the ability to understand and to negotiate the world around us, with leading roles played by stars like Julianne Moore. The challenges of caregiving are receiving increasing attention, as are the growing pressures on our medical system. Every month there’s a report of a new potential cure, or a potential cause, or ways we might be able to fend off the illness through exercise, mental calisthenics, diet, and medications.

The January Reflections essay, written by Deborah Lane, a critical care nurse and community volunteer in St. Augustine, Florida, is called “Watching a Friend Fade Away.” Here’s the opening paragraph:

Frankie was a fast wit, a ginger-headed joker, impeccably dressed, and the first to laugh. She was a master’s-educated teacher who developed programs for at-risk teens, teaching pregnant high school students skills for employment and effective childcare. She loved to cook and her home was warm with beautiful arts and crafts she had made. She was a wonderful friend. Disease changed it all.

The author brings the perspective of both a loving friend and a nurse to this short, beautifully told account of the changes in her friend over the years, the efforts of two couples to keep spending […]

How Do You Want to Be Cared For?

The patient in the next bed by mynameisharsha  / Harsha K R, via Flickr The patient in the next bed by mynameisharsha / Harsha K R, via Flickr

By Betsy Todd, MPH, RN, CIC, AJN clinical editor

How do you want to be cared for?

Have you written your own personal nursing care plan? I’m not asking about your health care proxy or living will; most nurses have seen enough disastrous end-of-life scenarios to understand the need for formal advance directives. But if you become comatose or unable to communicate, what small pleasures would ease your suffering? What sights and sounds would promote healing for you, or ease your dying?

I’m often dismayed by the thoughtlessness of some staff regarding what their patients see and hear. Nurses will tune an unconscious patient’s television to the staff’s favorite soap opera, or blast the music of their own choice from the patient’s radio. I’ve witnessed staff talking on cell phones, and even arguing loudly with other staff, as though the person in the bed weren’t even there. When did we lose our attentiveness to patients as unique individuals? […]

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