“You are never alone as you miss these children, as you laugh recalling moments with them. Don’t worry that the memory of them is fading—their presence is strong and lives even beyond you and your love for them. We remember them, too.”

Illustration by Barbara Hranilovich for AJN. All rights reserved.

In this month’s Reflections column, author Jessica L. Spruit has written an open letter to parents who have lost a child. Spruit, a pediatric NP in a hematology/oncology department, makes it clear that the children in her care are not forgotten and that their deaths are never routine, even on a hem/onc unit. Here, she shares memories of her patients from over the years, recalling the things that made them unique—as children, and not just as “patients.”

In her letter, Spruit describes something that is often hard to convey about our work. In spite of all of the stress and frustrations of nursing today, we still are able to engage deeply with other people. The courage and grace (and fun and joy, too) that we have the privilege to witness become part of who we are. When our patients are children, their gifts to us are particularly memorable.

“Please don’t ever think that we ‘do this all the time’ or that it is ‘just part of our job.’ Please don’t fear that you are the only ones who remember and miss your children.”

Read “We Remember Them, Too” in […]