May I Hug You? Supporting Personal Boundaries in the Health Care Setting
Touch as affirmation.
Illustration by Julianna Paradisi
“May I hug you?”
My patient and I had just finished a rather lengthy conversation, the kind of authentic communication that reaffirms the humanity connecting us all—the number one reason I love being a nurse. Sitting in a chair across from me, she reached out her hand for me to shake. I sensed she felt the same connection I did, but was too shy to ask for more.
“May I hug you?” I asked.
Tears formed in her eyes as she stood and we hugged. The circle was complete.
Not everyone is comfortable being touched.
I’m a hugger. I connect easily with patients and throughout my career have given and received more spontaneous hugs than I can hope to count. Lately though, for a variety of reasons, I’ve begun to ask permission before hugging a patient.
Foremost, I’ve developed a stronger advocacy towards the right to personal boundaries. I am not you is a good thing to remember when meeting anyone for the first time, whether they are a patient, coworker, or a child. Not everyone is comfortable being touched.
‘Handshake free zones.’
A while ago, I met a new resident while visiting a patient in her hospital room. After introducing […]