The Pitfalls of Being the ‘Nice’ Patient: A Nurse’s Perspective

Image Brent Keane/via Pexels

I have often heard health care professionals in various environments say, “If you’re nice to the nurses and doctors who take care of you, you’ll get better care.” As a bedside nurse myself, I understand the sentiment. No busy health care worker loves being met with antagonism or pressing demands that don’t strike us as critically urgent.

But when my husband and I both became patients with serious illnesses last year, we learned the clinical pitfalls of being the nice patients. I am left wondering how patients should be expected or permitted to advocate for their own care without worrying that they will be frowned upon or brushed off because they’re perceived as “difficult.”

First cautionary tale.

In early 2022, I discovered a small lump under my right breast that I initially wrote off as a cyst. Surely, I told myself, as a woman in her mid-40s with no risk factors for breast cancer, this had to be benign. A screening mammogram in May 2022 gave me an all-clear, and I went on my way.

But by November, I knew the lump had grown. I reached out to my PCP to ask for a diagnostic mammogram, and he emailed back a casual reassurance. “I know you’re worried, […]

2024-02-07T16:57:09-05:00February 6th, 2024|Nursing, nursing stories, patient experience, Patients|14 Comments
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‘Tables Turned’: When the Patient’s Family Member Is a Nurse

By Betsy Todd, MPH, RN, CIC, AJN clinical editor

Illustration by Eric Collins. All rights reserved. Illustration by Eric Collins. All rights reserved.

Nurses are not always comfortable when a patient’s family member is also a nurse. In AJN’s January Reflections essay, “The Tables Turned,” a critical care nurse describes her attempt to navigate the role change from nurse to family member when her sister is hospitalized with multiple injuries after a bike accident.

Her sister is in obvious pain, but pain management is complicated by a low blood pressure. The author asks her sister’s nurse about alternative analgesics. She writes:

“The nurse, perhaps caught off guard by my question, answered abruptly: ‘I don’t think so. We don’t do that here.’ There was a pause. ‘Don’t do what?’ I asked. ‘We don’t do IV Tylenol,’ she repeated. She did not offer an explanation, an alternative, or say she’d ask another provider… I felt helpless, both as a critical care nurse and as a sister.”

As if to reinforce that the patient’s sister is not welcome to participate in care discussions, the charge nurse soon comes by and suggests that the author “step out to get some rest.”

Of course we don’t know the nurse’s […]

2016-11-21T13:03:16-05:00January 7th, 2015|career, narratives, Nursing, nursing perspective, pain management, Patients|5 Comments
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Patient Safety, Patient Advocacy: In Pediatric Nursing, A Tricky Balance

Julianna Paradisi, RN, OCN, writes a monthly post for this blog and works as an infusion nurse in outpatient oncology.

CT Scan ink and watercolor on paper 2014 by jparadisi CT Scan ink and watercolor on paper 2014 by jparadisi

I was precepting a new nurse. She’d earned a job in our PICU during her student clinical rotation. New grads weren’t routinely hired, but her competency led to her recruitment. Precepting her was a joy.

This particular shift, we were assigned one of those midafternoon admissions with the potential to keep us overtime: rule out meningitis. The preschool-aged patient had been brought to the ED after having a first-time seizure. When he reached the PICU, however, we were relieved that he presented more like a febrile seizure.

Besides a fever and runny nose, the only other remarkable characteristic about the child was his utterly charming personality. We drew his labs while starting an IV. An antibiotic infusion was started, and acetaminophen administered. Feeling better, and not the least postictal, he played with our stethoscopes.

This was many years ago. There were standards in place that accompanied certain diagnoses. ‘Rule out meningitis’ came with a CAT scan and lumbar puncture.

Both seemed excessive, given the child’s presentation, but there was the order for CAT scan. He sat upright in his crib singing, […]

2016-11-21T13:03:24-05:00December 3rd, 2014|career, Nursing, nursing perspective, Patients|3 Comments
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‘Mercy,’ Revisited: A Nurse Goes from Harsh Critic to Fan

MercyScreen2

By Peggy McDaniel, BSN, RN

The new NBC television series Mercy is starting to grow on me. Like some other recent shows (Nurse Jackie and Hawthorne), this drama features nurses as the lead characters. As I explained here a while back, my response to the first episode was very negative. Disparaging comments made about nurses by other staff and by patients’ family members struck me as unnecessary and irritating. Lines like “what do you know, you’re only a nurse?” were hard for a real nurse to take. My first impression was that the characters could have been women in almost any career. The words and actions of Veronica, one of the lead characters, seemed harsh and inappropriate. The overall image of nursing was negative.

So now for my confession: I have continued to watch Mercy. And I’ve become less of a critic and more of a fan. We still get more dramatic effects than convincing reality. For example, in a recent episode, Veronica runs in and bangs a patient’s chest with her fist, an action which ultimately restarts the patient’s heart. I still miss the comparatively realistic practices depicted in ER; Mercy doesn’t attempt to get such details right. 

But recent story lines have shown our nurse heroines to be strong patient advocates. This is a true (believable, and inspiring) nursing role. Even if the story line takes liberties with what a real nurse would do—such as when a character visits a patient’s son at his home to encourage him to visit his dying mother—the point about patient advocacy is made and appreciated. Advocating […]

2016-11-21T13:21:12-05:00November 10th, 2009|nursing perspective|1 Comment
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Views expressed on the blog are solely those of the authors or persons quoted. They do not necessarily reflect AJN’s views or those of Wolters Kluwer Health/Lippincott Williams and Wilkins.
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