Why Do Children With Visible Disabilities Make Us Uncomfortable?
What do you do when you see a child who has obvious visible disabilities? Do you say hello? Do you turn away?
In this month’s Viewpoint, “Afraid to Notice: On Responding to Children with Visible Disabilities,” pediatric nurse Lindsey van Gennep talks about her experiences working with medically fragile children in the community. She has learned a lot about kids with various abilities and their capacity to simply be “kids,” and also a lot about how people react to children who are different.
“While taking them on field trips or to doctor’s appointments, I’ve noticed looks of sadness and pity. I’ve noticed the mothers who, assuming the child is mine, look at me as if I must have abused substances during pregnancy—looks of disgust.”
Pretending not to see.
But van Gennep found that the reactions of people who didn’t even acknowledge the child she was with could be even more upsetting.
“Four women with children walked by. They didn’t stare at her, or at me. Instead, they quickly looked away, as if they had just seen a stranger naked. They looked away—out of embarrassment that they had looked at all. The passing children followed their mothers’ cues and snapped curious eyes away from my patient.”
