Aid-in-Dying: A Daughter’s Challenging New Nursing Role

A father’s request.

The March Reflections essay in AJN is by a nurse whose terminally ill 92-year-old father asked her to help him legally end his own life under the requirements of Oregon’s Death with Dignity Act. The short essay is intimate, informative, and honest. Here’s a brief excerpt from near the end:

Although I miss my father terribly, I have no regrets. Mostly, I am thankful for his strength and courage, his clear-mindedness, and his willingness to work with me to repair our relationship. I am also thankful that nursing prepared me for the role of nurse advocate and taught me how to ‘be with’ a person at the end of life, even when that person was my father.

By Barbara Hranilovich for AJN.

Death With Dignity laws.

It can’t be easy for a nurse, whose job usually focuses on restoring patients’ health and preserving their lives, to help a family member die in this way. Nor is the process without challenges: the requirements of Death with Dignity laws are rigorous, layered with checks and double-checks to guard against potential abuses. […]

Through Song, a Nurse’s Renewed Connection to An Ailing Mother

Illustration by Barbara Hranilovich for AJN.

Millions of Americans are now acting in some capacity as caregivers for an ailing parent. This month’s Reflections column is by a nurse who describes a moment in time as she helps to care for her home-bound and dying mother. Her mother remains, on occasion, as judgmental and offputting as the mother of her childhood.

But in such cases, there’s little to gain by dwelling on old disappointments and hurts—and in this instance, there are good memories as well.

The common language of song.

These good memories are primarily associated with her mother’s love of and talent for singing. “Moon River and Mom” describes this nurse’s experience of tending her mother’s leg wound as the Meals on Wheels man visits, and what happens afterward when the author prompts her mother to sing. […]

A Child’s Story, or Why She Became a Nurse

Illustration by Anne Horst. All rights reserved. Illustration by Anne Horst. All rights reserved.

Day in and day out, a child lives in fear. Her stomach often twists in knots of pain for hours before the pain fades away. The doctors can find no medical reason for the pain. Her mother angrily accuses her of faking it, of being more trouble than she’s worth. The child is often told how stupid she is. Though her father sometimes protects her, at times his medication doesn’t work and he transforms from a caring protective father into a crazed abusive one. Even when the child is unharmed, she stays in a constant state of panic as soon as she walks in her front door.

That’s the opening paragraph of this month’s Reflections essay. “A Child’s Story” is a tough read. It’s about child abuse, helplessness, the will to endure, about those who help and those who don’t. In the end, it’s a hopeful story, despite everything. The story is also a reminder of just how much the decision to become a nurse means to some people. Here’s a brief excerpt, but we hope you’ll read the entire short essay (click on the article title above).—Jacob Molyneux, senior editor

 

 
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‘The Nurse Who Changed My Treatment’

By Annalisa Ochoa, for AJN. All rights reserved. By Annalisa Ochoa, for AJN. All rights reserved.

Two years ago, when I was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer in the ED of a large urban hospital, I asked a nurse if I could borrow her cell phone. Without hesitation, she handed me her Blackberry—this simple gesture was a first indication of the solidarity I’d come to feel with the nurses whose kindnesses have helped me heal.

We think it’s important to sometimes include a patient perspective in our monthly Reflections essay. “The Nurse Who Changed My Treatment,” the June Reflections essay, is by Nila Webster, who writes about the gestures by nurses, the little kindnesses and words of wisdom and encouragement, that helped her during her treatment for lung cancer and made her feel seen and understood. The essay is free, and short, so please click the link and give it a read.—JM, senior editor

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It Bears Repeating: ‘A Smart Doctor Listens to the Nurses’

AprilReflectionsIllustraionBy Jacob Molyneux, AJN senior editor

The April Reflections essay in AJN—Reflections is a monthly one-page column we’ve run for many years inside the back cover—has an unambiguous title: “A Smart Doctor Listens to the Nurses.”

Written by a pediatrician whose mother was a nurse, it gives a vision of continuity in the health care profession rather than opposition, of mothers and daughters, and seems particularly relevant as debates continue about whether or not nurses should be allowed to practice to the full scope of their abilities and knowledge. Here’s the opening paragraph, but it’s free, and we hope you’ll read the entire short essay:

I was in the hall outside a patient’s room with a new crop of interns and residents. As usual, they had all made rounds first thing in the morning, checked on new lab results, examined their patients, and were now ready to report everything to me, the attending. And, as usual, these bright, eager residents, though anxious to do a good job, hadn’t thought to talk with the nurses taking care of their patients.

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